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04:07pm 26/07/2030
2 gentle kisses x kiss me
09:58pm 21/06/2005
  ok this is pissing me off...the last post i can see is from Friday the 19th...can someone please help me get the thing updated with the lasts posts...i close the window and start from the begging with signing on and its the same Friday post that keeps coming up.....PLEASE HELP!!!!!  
kiss me
05:16pm 16/06/2005
mood: hungry
Tomorrow i get to go to an economic summit with the secretary and the Office Manager. Have to be at work at 7 so we can load up a car and then off to the summit we go. Should get back around 11 am and then I get off work at 2 or 2:30...thats the best part i get to start my weekend early....wonder how eventful it will be....

im starving..wish i had some cpk or the jack daniels burger from TGIFridays....oh well...guess ill go rummage around the kitchen and hope to find something
kiss me
06:37pm 14/06/2005
mood: energetic
ok so my last update was me reflecting on a convo i had with a friend thats not doing to well... I however am doing alright..i can think of a few things that would make me utterly happy but lets face its not gonna happen

I started an internship today which is awesome...the first day was exciting the office ladies took me out to lunch which was awesome! Currently im working full time which is 8-5 with an hour lunch Monday through thursday and on friday from 7:30-3:30...i know thats early to start but atleast i get out early with enough time to nap and then start my weekend.

At the moment they have me doing stuff around the office but as i gain more understand of the company and what the office does they'll actually give me projects of my own right now im just helping out the secretary..even though its long hours its good money...better than what i expected anyway...and i can talk on my cell at anytime its cool i like it there...

I really would like to just chill and relax when i get off work now...just have to find ways of doing it ya know..would be nice to have some company but we all know how that goes.

well im off to stretch and then go to chior
kiss me
just a thought   
05:57pm 14/06/2005
mood: indescribable
ever feel like you’re alone? like no matter how hard u try there no one really there that truly supports u...or that there’s no one there to say they love you and care about u..or is it more like u feel u make a big deal about everything b/c u really have nothing...or are u just blind to everything around u...do u purposely ignore the things and people u love...or do u feel they ignore u...do u feel they don’t acknowledge special moments or events...do u feel like people around u brush things off like they don’t mean anything....are these things all in your head...in my head...are we delusional...are we just dreamers in a world of cynics? are we the so-called lost sheep? are u what people would call needy? or is it that u just don’t know how to express how u feel...or better yet is it that u feel intimidated to say or do something around those u care about? do u feel you’re drifting closer or farther apart? are u going up or down...or is there no movement at all? is that what frustrates u? or is it the fact that no one else sees the problem u feel...is it that n one else considers intimacy as important? no one else considers friendship as important?

These are the things I think about day and night...maybe its just me finding myself...adjusting to life as I knew it again...or is it the beginning of the end of things as I knew it?...people read things like this and don’t respond....yet if the word suicide is mentioned or the act itself committed everyone wakes up...is this how the dreamer becomes a cynic?
kiss me
10:37am 11/06/2005
mood: awake
its one year and a month today. Happy Anniversary marques.
1 gentle kiss x kiss me
feeling energized- belly dancing   
09:42am 09/06/2005
mood: hungry
ok since i got a good night of sleep...i am feeling very energetic so i decided i would go ahead and look up the belly dancing classes...heres the info

I found this one place that charges $15 a lesson which isnt to bad the basic classes is on tuesday from 6:30-7:30pm. It says its in Los Angeles I think not to far from culver city and the website is www.aisha-ali.com

The other place is in Hollywood..um i dont know how much they cost but they have a definate begining class on Friday from 7-8pm (I dont think thats gonna work but it is an option)and theres a beginning class on Sat from 2-3pm...this come also has mixed level classes on tuesday from 8-10:30pm and Thursday from 8:15-9:45pm..just so u know they also have salsa dancing, jazz, tengo, ballroom dancing, and ballet. Heres the site www.hollywooddancecenter.com

Thats about it for now..lemme know what u think
1 gentle kiss x kiss me
Pole Dancing   
09:12am 09/06/2005
mood: good
Ok ladies....ive looked up all the info for the pole dancing classes...according to Shiela Kelley this is supposed to way boost your confidence and make u feel better all around not to mention the perks if u and ur sig other are at that special stage already....

Anyway the intro class is $40. Thats a little pricey for one class but it is $40 for the intro class....Im not sure when the class is available cuz they had some sign up thing on the website....which is www.sfactor.com

I am also looking into belly dancing classes cuz i think that would be fun....look for an entry about that in the next couple of days...most likely these would be evening classes since i know people work and stuff and i want if not all then most of us to atleast meet for the class...

so that about it for now on pole dancing 101 and belly dancing

lemme know what ya think

just woke up and i had a good dream which makes me happy
3 gentle kisses x kiss me
03:54pm 06/06/2005
  pole dancing anyone? lol ok oprah has been doing this series called "Release your inner sexpot" i think its awesome lol but anyway just wanted to know if any of yall would be consider learning to poll dance...this is for both guyes and girls...no one will prob answer this but i thought it would be fun to ask...i think i would learn if i had the opportunity just cuz its something people dont usually think to learn its almost like belly dancing in a sense that belly dancing can release a persons inner sexpot if thats what they wanted.  
2 gentle kisses x kiss me
03:18pm 06/06/2005
mood: and frustrated
just out of curiousity....

how many of yall think uve met the person ur gonna get married to or spend most of ur days with? or if u dont think that ur gona get married to that person...have u met someone u could consider the love of ur life?

so far my day hasnt been the best but hopefully a nap and so dinner will clear it up
2 gentle kisses x kiss me
09:12pm 05/06/2005
mood: satisfied
well today was a good day...

Went to Church and listened to meli and lili and the youth peoples sings which was awesome!

Then talked with my mom and the church friends for a long time listening to stories about Nigeria. It was very funny and i realized can understand some kind of broken nigerian english...that was exciting!

The we went downtown and walked around and designed my dress for this wedding i have to go to in July...that was really fun!

Then came home and my mom called my g-ma and her sisters and brother back...that took forever i fell asleep and woke up and she was still talking! Eventually i told we have to go or else will be waiting an hour to eat...

Then we went to the Cheesecake Factory and lets just say i only at a quarter or less of my huge salad...the Santa Fe one i really suggest it if u dont want to eat anything to heavy

So stuffed but feeling good even though i look like crap...

Yesterday was awesome to...

Went to the movies with Osa and her friend. We saw Madagascar which is a really funny movie. Very cute...I laughed harder than i thought i would! Highly reccomend it if ur looking for something light-hearted and fun.

well all the blood is rushing to my tummy since i just ate....think im cathing the "itous" (sp?)...so i better stretch out and recline and watch the good ol' tube
kiss me
02:40pm 04/06/2005
mood: lazy
nice weather today :)
kiss me
12:10pm 03/06/2005
mood: frustrated
well i guess i was just told what i was feeling all along that I'm really not good for much of anything.

I called the lady for the internship i initerviewed for on wednesday and she pretty much told me that i didnt get that particular internship but that she wants me to interview for a different one. I guess thats a good thing but i really wanted this particular one....oh well i guess...

Just isnt the best way to start off the day feeling pretty much useless.

I feel like no one i talk to would understand...Ii mean i know we all face rejection at some point in time but i dunno....nvm
kiss me
05:52pm 02/06/2005
mood: worried
I love when guyes do romantic things

I hate being bored

kiss me
03:10pm 02/06/2005
mood: nervous
i feel like i walking or in this case waiting on egg shells cuz i havent heard back from any of the people i interviewed with yesterday! One lady said i should know by friday and if she didnt call me then i should call her. I feel like im checking the phone to see if it works every minute. Like if i step outside for a second im gonna miss the call.....i have an answering machine but still i hurry back to see if i missed tha call...

I wish i had something to distract me form this nervous sitting around doing nothing feeling. ::sigh:: i wish someone whee here to talk to...
2 gentle kisses x kiss me
my day   
08:47pm 01/06/2005
mood: flirty
today contained...

2 interviews
1 visit to Mcdonalds
1 visit to KFC
1 visit to checkout 24 fitness
1 completed novel "Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown writer of "The Da Vinci Code"
4 times getting lost and driving up random streets
1 extremely hot daydream
and an enormous craving for rum and raisen ice cream

random memory from new york:

Me going into a store slightly dressed up for my mom concert but looking for a camera. Talking to the sales guy thats obviously trying to get me to go on a date with him when he gets off work. I ask him how much a camera was and he said $10 but it was some odd brand so i ask how much kodak was and he goes $15. All the while hes slipping in little hits about what the evening could be like and how pretty i was and how he would like to get to know me better...lol so i wondered if flirting with him would get me the kodak camera for $10 instead of $15. So i go well cutie how about u give me the kodak camera for 10 and maybe ill consider a date and he goes ill give it to u for $5 if i can pick u up at 9. we start laughing and then i say well i guess ill be taking the kodak camera and he goes tha'll be $5 and i had him 15 smile and walk out the door. lol new york holds many interesting people but i prefer my fav person to random guyes that work in random stores. ;-)

lata peoples
kiss me
weekend in the big apple   
03:10pm 31/05/2005
mood: cheerful
Hello lovely people of California!

Going to New York always gives me persepective in how different cali is from new york and how much kinder people here are. Nevertheless I had an awesome time roaming the 7 ave and 42 street. I thought i wouldve done more shopping but of course its been awhile since i was in new york and i forgot that most of the stores dont have dressing rooms and i wasnt about to but clothing that i hadnt tried on, mainly jeans ya know. Buying jeans and questionsing if its gonna fit is not worth spending the money.

I did however find a really nice swimsuit. its skin toned with a colorful ribbon around the edge of the halter top and then the bottom is boyshorts with the ribbon as a belt. Its cute im still looking for another one though something a little brighter...those of u that really know me knows i like lots of color!

My mom sang at Carnegie Hall with the choir shes in, which was the whole point for us going to new york in the first place. The were soooo awesome and carnegie hall is beyond gorgeous on the inside!

Saw my father and the fam....and i must say each of his family that saw me said almost exactly the same thing...which was how look like my mother (whichi dont see by the way) and how fat i got. I mean...i dont think ive gotta fat but apparently everyone on my fathers side of the family feels that ive gained a ton of wieght! I mean the last time they saw me i was like 10 so if thats what they are comparing me to then yes ive gained weight cuz when i was 10 i was like 98 pounds!

more on new york next update..I just pretty much woke up and im hungry as hell!
food and ill continue later!
1 gentle kiss x kiss me
last night   
04:08pm 22/05/2005
mood: amused
so heres the deal with last night....
i was supposed to go out with nelly, ale, christina, and osa. however my mother had other decisions. First she didnt want me to go b/c marques wasnt going to be there...as if he needs to be there whenever i decide i wanna go out..i love him dearly but this is not ancient times and i do not need an escort everywhere i go. So after i told her osa was going she was like ok then she used the whole putting me on a guilt trip thing i.e. saying it would be nice if to see you home one night. As tempted as i was to be like well that night would be sunday night i decided to say on her good side.

What pissed me off the most about this whole event was the fact that i stayed home and them minute we started watching tv she went to sleep. WTF! I stay home cuz u say it would be nice to stay in and she goes to sleep.....UGH! So needless to say that was the last time ill let that guilt crap work on me!

well off i go....ttyl
1 gentle kiss x kiss me
05:49pm 21/05/2005
mood: thirsty
what up ya'll? I havent been doing much chillin at home. Looking for work...if anyone knows any good paying jobs that needs a good worker lemme know something please! As of now, I waiting to see if the lady from Express in manhattan beach to call me and I'm waiting on a lady from the city of beverly hills to call me...noether of which has called me :(

Otherwise hanging out with marq has been the most excitement ive had this whole summer, which is a good thing just hes not out here very often and im not at his school very often. I'm really needing to find other things to do..ive got a car.....ive got gas now...and ive got a desire to get out just i have no where to go! Call me dumb but this is how i see going outside...I normally go outside when i have something to do otherwise i dont go out...its like i dont see a purpose in going outside if i dont have anywhere to go or anything to do.

I really wanna start exercising but i feel like i need to go to a class or workout with someone on a regular basis. I've started doing some regular exercises when i get out the shower but its not really enough to make a difference. I think if i started working out I wouldnt be so tired during the day from doing nothing.

Maybe its just me but I'm loving the weather...its soooooo awesome! Ok it can get a little hot but u just have to find creative ways to cooooool down. I love it!

Last night me and marques went to cold stones creamery for the first time and it was awesome...i think i have a new fav ice cream shop!

well lovely people if ur as bored as i am and have nothing to do, you can always give me a call and ill see if i can talk my mom into letting me live my freakin life! but im up for anything at this point in time.

PS- I feel like drinking something nice...something cold but relaxing!

Hava B.
kiss me
11:25am 18/05/2005
mood: confused
hmm...so far ive had a bad day....im wondering if anything good will happen....
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